twoday: It’s not goodbye

This column originally appeared at It has been reprinted with permission.

It’s not goodbye.

With this post comes the final installment of “Bobby’s World” at

Like with any relationship, I’ve spent time looking back on my time with you.

When we first met early in 2011, I was in a great place in life. I had a great job, some of the best friends any 20-something could ask for and was cruising through life enjoying the ride.

Fast forward nearly three years and I still have a fantastic job I love every single day, and so many other wonderful things in my life.

But some friendships I spoke so highly of early on have seen better days as communication — or a lack thereof — and other issues have changed the landscape of my social life. In some cases that’s been great and in other cases, it’s been sad.

I’ve made new friends and continued to grow other friendships, while trying my best to salvage some.

One item that hasn’t changed was the reason I was targeted for this magazine — to give a voice to single people.

I’m still single. I’m perfectly fine with being single — and no, I’m not in denial.

Over the course of these nearly three years, my hope was to bring you stories, ideas and thoughts to keep you thinking of how important relationships — social, familial, professional and romantic — are to our lives no matter our relationship status in life or on Facebook.

Without people, our lives have no value.

We might be able to climb the tallest mountains, reach career levels we dreamed of as children and earn plenty of money, but without people in our lives, our accomplishments, our money, our accolades mean nothing.

Sometimes those in our lives will challenge decisions we make. We should welcome — not argue — those challenges.

Those who care for us are not the ones agreeing with every move we make, they are the ones questioning our motives and keeping us in line.

I’m reminded of a quote I think of often: “Look a man in the eye and say what you really think, don’t just smile at him and say what you’re supposed to think.”

Our current culture is challenging in terms of how relationships and personal goals are supposed to interact.

There are two conflicting popular schools of thought right now about how we are to live life. On the one hand, we’re told to do for ourselves and reach our goals no matter what. On the other, we’re challenged to realize how important friends and family are to life versus our personal dreams.

For me, as I’ve written about many times, life is about cherishing the people in it.

When our work lives are done, what do we have to show for it? Nothing.

But when people in our lives no longer are there, what do we have? Missed opportunities to be with those we love.

We have tricked ourselves into believing social media and technology keeps loved ones in our lives, when, in reality, we can see them, talk with them and read about things they’re doing, but we cannot experience life with them or embrace them through FaceTime or Facebook the way we can when we’re in the same room embracing and sharing memories with them.

I’m reminded of a Winnie the Pooh quote about life: “Pay attention to where you are going because without meaning you might get nowhere.”

It has been a pleasure to challenge myself to find new content almost every week for you. I’m not sure if I’ve changed any lives, forced any relations to end or begin, but I do hope my words have made you think about those in your life you care for and how to strengthen relationships and cherish those who have entered our lives.

Please feel free to stay in touch via Facebook ( and Twitter (

I can’t end this column without thanking my friends (current and former) who have — at many times — been the subject of my writing with their successes, misfortunes and obstacles in relationships.

Thank you to Kim and Natalie for thinking I had something creative to say. I still doubt that.

And, of course, thank you to those who have read what I’ve written over the years.

I’ll close with one of my favorite sayings from my favorite Pooh character — Tigger:

“T-T-F-N! Ta-ta for now!”