In a world where instant gratification reigns supreme and swipe-left decisions are made in seconds, it’s easy to lose sight of the value of investing time and energy into relationships. Whether it’s a friendship, romantic partnership or professional connection, relationships thrive on the principle of investment. Like any other meaningful endeavor, they require attention, patience and a willingness to show up consistently and with intent.

But why should we invest in relationships, and what’s the return on this investment? I think about this so often, and try to read about other’s experiences and journeys.

Relationships are built, not found

A common misconception is that strong relationships — whether friendships or romances — are found rather than built. We often idolize the idea of “instant connections” and “finding your person.” (As much as I’ve learned not to do this, I still do this at times.)

While chemistry or shared values can create a strong foundation, even the most promising of relationships need effort to truly flourish. The reality is that strong bonds are created over time, through shared experiences, mutual support and — most importantly — a conscious choice to nurture that connection.

When we invest in a relationship, we’re laying bricks of trust, understanding and shared meaning. This foundation becomes the bedrock of a resilient relationship, capable of dealing with conflicts, misunderstandings and challenges. Without that investment, relationships remain surface-level, fragile and prone to dissolve at the first sign of difficulty.

Growth requires vulnerability and commitment

Investing in a relationship requires vulnerability (something I’m not good at) — a willingness to open up, share our thoughts, fears and dreams. It also requires commitment. In friendships, that might mean consistently checking in on someone or being there when they need support. In romantic relationships, it involves showing up for your partner not just when it’s convenient but especially when it’s not.

Without this level of engagement, relationships can easily become transactional — existing only for convenience or superficial interaction. By committing time and emotional energy, we show that we value the other person and are willing to be a part of their growth journey. And in turn, we grow as individuals by learning from them.

The impact of deep, invested relationships

The benefits of investing in relationships are profound. People with strong, meaningful connections experience greater life satisfaction, better emotional well-being and even physical health benefits. When you invest in relationships, you’re creating a network of support, love and wisdom that can uplift you in moments of need.

Take friendship as an example. When you invest in a friend, you become part of their life in a way that enriches both of you. You celebrate each other’s successes, mourn each other’s losses and provide a safe space to express yourselves. This is more than just a casual acquaintance — it’s a relationship where both parties can truly rely on each other.

It’s not about keeping score

One of the challenges people face when investing in relationships is the fear of imbalance. No one wants to feel like they’re putting in all the work. But here’s the truth: Investing in a relationship isn’t about keeping score. Healthy relationships have an ebb and flow, where at times one person might need more support or attention than the other.

By focusing on the bigger picture, and understanding that relationships are dynamic, we realize that the return on investment is often intangible. It’s in the moments of laughter, shared companionship and mutual growth.

The courage to invest

It can be scary to invest in people. There’s always a risk of disappointment, conflict or the possibility that the relationship may not evolve as you hoped. But that risk is a part of life. The real loss is in holding back — choosing not to invest because of the fear of failure or rejection.

Great relationships require courage. They require you to step out of your comfort zone and trust that the other person values the relationship as much as you do. They require patience, as growth often happens in small, almost imperceptible ways. And they require consistency — because deep connections aren’t built overnight.

The reward of meaningful relationships

The relationships we invest in shape who we are. When we give of ourselves, we learn not just about the other person, but about our own capacity for love, empathy and connection. The real reward is not just the relationship itself but the person we become through the process.

In a world that encourages quick fixes and short-term thinking, the willingness to invest in relationships is an act of resistance. It’s a choice to prioritize depth over convenience and meaning over fleeting interactions.

So, whether it’s a friendship, working relationship, family member or romantic connection, don’t be afraid to invest. You’ll find that the time, energy and love you put into the relationship will come back to you in ways far beyond what you ever expected.